So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
