He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
