Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
