My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
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