You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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