that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
