I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
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