Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
