She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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