did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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