Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize