Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
