If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Randomize