Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
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