He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
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