You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize