my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
