ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
