one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
