Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
