is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize