Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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