I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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