This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
