How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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