Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
