You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
