i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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