Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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