yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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