Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
