dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
