Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Randomize
