he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
