Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
