just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
