That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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