Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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