You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
