Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
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