i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
