Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
