If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
