i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Randomize