Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
