I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
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