hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
