Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Randomize
