Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Randomize
