Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
