it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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