All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
