is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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