4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
NoShamevember. You game?
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
