i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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