Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
