Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
